"I'm acting like an obese personal trainer at the moment"...
I said to a friend last night.
Because in my business, I'm telling people exactly what to do, but not following the rules myself.
I'm honoured to have been asked to speak on a business live stream tonight about how to market your business ethically and with integrity.
I've been given some websites to look at of members in the group and as I was looking for their blogs and content, it dawned on me that, once again, I am not practicing what I preach. My own site right here is as bare as Mother Hubbard's cupboard when it comes to content.
It's not that I'm lazy or don't know how to do it. The truth is I spend hours every week ghost writing blogs, ebooks and social media content for others. I am a content furnace! I eat that shit up for breakfast lunch and dinner!
But I am not keeping up with my own content. Right here in the place where people would come to stalk me and see what I'm about.
I'm scared of growth!
I know I am AMAZING at what I do.
I've never advertised my services and have been pretty much fully booked, via word of mouth, since I went freelance in September 2017.
It's taken a long time to realise this (and a lot of money on therapy!) but I am really bloody good at marketing businesses in this modern, transparent digital landscape. I genuinely change the lives of my clients by helping them to market their businesses. They grow in many ways after our work together; financially, personally, grow clients and they grow their teams.
Yet the one thing I am amazing at, I am petrified of myself. Growing.
I am happy just being little old me, beavering away and juggling my tasks. Yet there comes a point where you have to make a declaration that you are ready to grow, and ready to shine.
I had a session at the weekend with Tim Neale an incredible emotion release coach. It's very difficult to describe what Tim does. In fact, it's one of my work tasks to help him refine his message and project to the masses exactly what his wizardry is. Essentially he removes emotional splinters to get you out of emotional and physical pain.
In my session with Tim it transpired that my recent frustrations are deep rooted in my readiness to 'shine'. I felt like I was standing on a brightly lit stage, all my clients were at the front with the spotlight on them, and I was clapping at the back. At first I was so happy and proud for them, but as the clapping died down, I realised I wanted to step into the light too, but couldn't as they were in the way.
9 months ago I wrote a book.
6 months ago I put some presentations together on social media, marketing and PR with the intention to pitch myself as a speaker.
1 month ago I wrote an online course about winning awards in your business.
Yes I haven't done a single sausage with any of the above three points.
I am absolutely paralysed by fear.
Up until now I've been scared of putting myself in the spotlight, getting too busy, letting my current clients down and failing. I've also been practicing that age old bullshit of 'not-good-enough'-ness 'don't-know-enough'-ness and 'who-the-hell-do-I-think-I-am'-ness.
Well actually, that's not true at all. I know a heck of a lot. What I teach people makes ENORMOUS differences to their lives and businesses.
So what is keeping me from shouting this to the world if the fear is starting to subside?
Lack of time
Lack of support
I give my clients so many strategies when it comes to productivity and time management. I have that nailed myself. So if I work at maximum capacity, it's the support that will help free up valuable time.
So now it's time to look for someone who can assist me in this magical journey of marketing. I am making a declaration that I can't do it all. There, I've said it, hands up I can't do it!
I will though. I'll find a way.
I'll also make a declaration to practice what I preach. Because this blog just took me 11 minutes to write and I can definitely stop fannying around on Facebook for 11 minutes a couple of times a week to plant my genius right here in my digital home.
I'm off to look for an assistant!